So I like to think I'm a poet...

Wassssupp?? So I am freakishly tired right now, I only got a hour and a half of sleep last night and I am seriously just dying right now. Like, I'm fine I guess, but I feel my throat getting sore and my eye lids are super heavy. I find it super funny, though, I am soooo awkward when i'm tired. haha It's cause I try and act like I'm not tired (I don't know why) and I try and crack a joke or whatever and it always is just super awkward... Oh well! :D

ANYWAYS, a little more about me, I am in love with art. Any kind. Anything that constitutes as self expression, I find beautiful. I personally am a musician (guitar, drums, piano, voice) and a poet. I really like doing covers for songs and writing new ones; maybe sometime I can post a video I've uploaded on Youtube. But I am obsessed with music, all kinds. But when I'm feeling 'artsy', I love listening to soundtracks. Like right now, I'm listening to 'Your Wife' from the movie 'Defiance' with Daniel Craig.(: Look it up, it's pretty good.(: I can only listen to music like that for so long though cause I've noticed it just really affects me. I mean, I love it! I just can feel it make me more sad about... whatever. but holy cow, it makes reading books TEN. TIMES. BETTER. so great. But like I said, I love all different kinds of music. Like now, I'm listening to 'Ride' by Lana Del Rey.(:

Anyways, I just wanted to put one of my old poems up here, it's called 'guessing' and I'm going to lay it out to where it looks really long, but it's really not. It's about a interesting relationship I had where it just turned into 'enough is enough'.

Guessing

The first day we saw each other,
you couldn't keep your eyes off me.
I thought you liked me.
        You did.
The next day, we became friends.
We gained each other's trust
from laughter and secrets.
       You told me your secrets.
Each day, we grew closer and closer.
We'd share our inner most creations
with each other and we'd revel in them.
        You reveled in my works.
I woke one day with the realization
I love you. I had not known it till
I thought you loved me back.
         You did love me back.
Later, things became polluted.
I had not known that you always were,
that you always had been.
         Always.
You never told me of your love.
Was it true? Was it real, even?
Why couldn't you just be a man, and just tell me?
         A man would have.
Finally, I couldn't take it any longer,
I confronted you, bore my soul
to you. Left it open for the taking.
         You called me... immature.
If you had not loved me, why did you let me believe?
When I made it so obvious, you let me
believe, day after long day you loved me?
          Because you did.
Your pride got in the way.
It didn't have to be like that,
we could have been happy.

           I guess not.


Well, I'm not guessing anymore.
I'm not even hopeful.
Truth is, my disappointment
          has disappointed my love.

haha well that sounds a little dramatic now that I read it, but it's how I felt.(: And I still think it's a pretty cool poem and am proud of it. Anyways, kEeP iT rEaL

<3 me